bittersweet

yesterday was any ordinary work day...yeah in the back of my mind i was hoping for a phone call about the job offer, but it didn't happen. instead, the curator and my boss pulled me aside and offered me a full time position within the fish department. i was caught off guard but told him i was still interested (i've been over-looked twice for a full time position since i got hired). but here's the catch...

the reason he offered me the position was because another member of our department ALSO swim tested and already got offered a seasonal position in the animal training department and accepted and is starting later this month, so when he told me that, my heart sank...literally. i mean, i should be jumping for joy right now because it's my FIRST full time job since i graduated college THREE years ago, but it's not where i want to be...i want to be with MAMMALS not fish. i couldn't help but send a quick praise of thanks up to God when i heard the news, but i also wanted to cry out THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!

after talking with my family, i know accepting the full time position is exactly what i need right now...it'll give me stability in my un-stable world...it'll give me health benefits, and paid vacation (what's that??? never had that before...), and 3 days off (i'll be working 4 10 hour days).

i still haven't gotten the rejection phone call or email about the seasonal position, but i need this opportunity right now...even though it kind of sucks...

my mom graciously reminded me yesterday that God's timing isn't my timing. but it's hard not to notice that there's a whole lot of other people where it seems like God's timing and their timing match up in the right exact moment...someday i'll get there...and when i do...it'll be the happiest day of my LIFE!!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6