PEEK

yesterday was just one of those days...i can't really explain what happened, but i had a moment of weakness...a moment where i had to stop what i was doing, take a few deep breaths and convince myself to put one foot in front of the other and go on with my day. if someone was watching from a distance to what happened, they would have no idea why i felt like i was hit with a ton of bricks. ok, so this is what happened...

i was just going about my business at work, just like a normal friday morning...i was walking to the fish house, and all of sudden, i hear someone say "LISA PEEK!!" my first thought was "who is calling me by that name?" and then i turned around and it was my intern coordinator from the marine mammal program. i hadn't seen her since my internship ended four years ago, and the fact that she recognized me meant a lot to me. BUT what really hit me was she KNEW me as Lisa PEEK...she knew me BEFORE my life was turned upside-down...BEFORE my failed marriage...BEFORE everything in my life was shattered. she knew me as the intern who was focused, confident, positive, etc. and that was so special to me!! it also made me realize how far my life has come since then...and that was my weak moment. i had a flash-back to who i was four years ago and how much i had let myself down...how much damage has been done to my heart, my life, my career. ohhhhhh how i wish i could be that person again...not jaded by seaworld politics, not hopeless for future relationships, not fearful of what obstacles i will encounter tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week, or month, or year. i know i'm on my way back to being "Lisa Peek" BUT i still have so many scars from being "Lisa Yates" it scares me...it really does.

my hope is on December 8, i can confidently introduce myself, sign my name and truly live as Lisa PEEK!!!